Tweeting the Tower of Babel

This Sunday is Pentecost, the day in which we remember and celebrate the gift of the Holy Spirit, as recorded in Acts 2. However, I'll be preaching the story of the Tower of Babel from Genesis 11:1-9. Why? What does the Tower story have to do with Pentecost? Well, you'll just have to wait until the Sunday sermon.

In the meantime, I thought I'd have a little fun with the story. Let's imagine what the Tower story might have sounded like if it had played out on Twitter. (If you didn't know, Twitter is a form of communication which plays out in bursts of 140 characters. It also happens to be our President's favorite form of communication. I'll leave it to you to decide if that's a good or bad thing.)

Here's what your Twitter feed might have looked like if social media were in use back in the day ...

Reports from the valley of Shinar - fertile land, resources to make bricks. Anyone up for a building project? (@NoahsKin)

Let’s build a coliseum! #Gladiators #LionsVs.Bears #BigScreenMovies (@WineBibber1)

(@WineBibber1) We don’t need an entertainment complex; we need food, water, essential supplies. How about a super Walmart? (@ValleyGirlBC)

LET’S BUILD SOMETHING BIG! Bigger than the mountains. Let’s make it so big that not even God can reach it! #MakeBabelGreatAgain (@hebrewpride_04)

After years of #desertlife, we need to make a name for ourselves. Build something awesome! (@hunt_gather)

Town hall meeting to discuss tower project provokes harsh debate. Leader says tower would unite people, prevent society from falling apart. (@voxpopuli)

No more talk, we need jobs! #BuildTheTower (@hebrewpride_04)

BREAKING NEWS (AP) Construction begins on first-ever skyscraper. Architect lauds project: “It’s gonna be yuuuuge!” (@apnews)

Contractor tells reporters that, for 1st time, bricks and bitumen to be used in construction of tower. #NotInStoneAgeAnymore (@voxpopuli)

Selfies of workers on the tower going viral, causing safety concerns. (@HPpolicedept)

Tower is named First Wonder of the World, even tho it’s not finished yet. Plans already being made to build a rival. (@voxpopuli)

Contractor says special guest expected this weekend to inspect tower construction. Rumors flying - Shem? Ham? Japheth? #RedCarpet (@enttonight)

God: “I decided to come down here and check out what you’re building.”
Worker: “Should have stayed up there. We’re coming to you.”
God: … 

Worker: “About that flood. You set civilization back quite a bit there.”
God: “And your point is?”
Worker: “Don’t do that again, please.”

Apparently, God not impressed by tower project. Leaves without comment. Nervous laughter ensues. (@voxpopuli)

Shocking video of worker falling off tower. Pols ask whether safety regulations have been met, allegations of cost overruns. (@enttonight)

Confusion erupts in tower meeting. Architect shoves blueprints in contractor’s face, starts gibbering nonsense. (@voxpopuli)

BREAKING NEWS (AP) Construction abruptly halts, pending “communication issues.” Foreman says, “Je ne comprends personne.” (@apnews)

من قال هذا البرج كان فكرة جيدة على أي حال؟هذا المشروع هو كارثة كاملة   (@أن المتأنق العربي من الطابق السفلي)

I’m gonna say this only one more time — SPEAK ENGLISH or GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM! (@hebrewpride_04)

Τίποτα καλό δεν μπορεί να προέλθει από αυτό. Προτείνω να χωριστούμε όλοι. #Αποτυχίακτιρίου (@ Εκείνος ο Έλληνας από τον επάνω όροφο)

Forsi aħna kienu ftit kbira għall britches tagħna. (@talker_lixxa)

You all ruined a good thing when you decided to go start speaking your fancy words. Go on and get out of here. #BuildingFail (@hunt_gather)

#covfefe (@AlmightyGod)