For The Dones

In the coming days, I plan to release a new Kindle edition of a book I wrote a few years ago. My new title is Done With Church: A Guide to Following Jesus Outside of Organized Religion.

OK, OK … I can see the question marks over your heads and above your puzzled brows. Am I encouraging people to leave the church? Am I advocating for the decline of local congregations?

No, absolutely not. If I were urging people to leave the church, I would be — literally — biting the hand that feeds me!

Instead, I am trying to encourage and comfort the large numbers of people across the country who have left church out of disillusionment. A sociologist recently published an article in Christianity Today in which he dubbed these people, “The Dones,” because they are done with church. According to the article, these Dones were highly active in their churches and didn’t want to leave, but felt stifled and disappointed by church structure. They dropped out, and have no plans to return.

I’ve met lots of people like this in my ministry. The reasons for leaving range from disappointment with church leaders to no longer believing church doctrine to perceiving the church is anti-gay or anti-female. Lots of people have been hurt by the church, and they are understandably reluctant to return.

In my book, I speak directly to the Dones. I acknowledge their pain and frustration, and admit that I have felt it myself. I don’t try to “win them back” to the church. Instead, I offer them a new way forward, a path that creates authentic community in a smaller setting, focused on the things that really matter.

The truth is being a member of a denominational church in a traditional church building is only one way to be a faithful follower of Jesus. There are other ways to follow Jesus, and I have seen a lot of these ways in my life. For example, I have met people who live in intentional Christian community together, or who gather for prayer and conversation on weekday evenings in bars. They do “church” in a different way, but it’s still “church.”

The only way you can’t be an effective follower of Jesus, however, is BY YOURSELF. You can’t walk this journey of faith alone. That’s why my book advocates a relationship-based approach to following Jesus. You can’t be a “Lone Ranger Christian.”

I understand why some people are done with church, I really do. I still hold out hope for the institutional model; I think the way we do church still has value and meaning.

But we must keep in mind that the way we do church is not meaningful to everyone.

After I wrote the first edition of the book several years ago, I was contacted by someone who was a teenager at one of my first churches. She sent me a message on Facebook after reading the book, part of which read:

“I wanted you to know that I purchased your book a little while back but hadn't had the time to really read it. Last week I just felt like I need some perspective or reassurance or something so I picked up and read it! After the first 5 pages I felt like you wrote this book for ME and for this moment in time. I ended up highlighting quite a few paragraphs while I read. It really did banish guilt and gave me a bright and new perspective. I'm still figuring out what direction I want to take things as a whole but I'm definitely a huge step closer. I really want to thank you for writing this book. It spoke to me in a way I really needed in the here and now.”

That’s why I wrote the book. It may not be for you, it’s for the Dones. If you know any, point them to my book … coming soon.

Oh-Kay!

Spring break is almost here! I expect that many of you will take the week to jet off somewhere fun or try to get away for a break.

I hope you take some time for relaxation and enjoy some spring weather. But let me warn you — when you get back to church, get ready for some pleasant changes!

For one, over spring break, we’re having the rest of the repair work done on the top and ground floors from the January 1st burst pipe. We’re getting some rooms and hallways re-floored and re-painted. (We’ve already had the second floor hall and children’s ministry room re-carpeted.) Believe me, it’s going to look great!

You’ll also notice something else different on Sunday, March 18. You’ll see a new person in the chancel with me, Ken, and Jonathan. We will welcome our new staff member, Rev. Kay Ash, who begins as our full-time Director of Christian Education.

I am very excited to welcome Kay to Kessler Park UMC. For one, this marks a significant and important step up for our church. For the first time in a while, this church will have TWO appointed clergy on staff. Kay is a commissioned deacon in the North Texas Conference, and is on pace to be ordained in two years.

I will give Kay a chance to introduce herself once she joins us, but suffice it to say that her resume is quite impressive. She graduated from American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York City, where she worked as an actor and dancer for 18 years before moving back to Dallas, where she earned a Masters degree from Perkins School of Theology.  She has worked in children’s ministry at Bridgeport Camp, Arapaho UMC in Richardson, and currently at First UMC Gainesville.

Her responsibilities at KPUMC will include overseeing all aspects of children’s ministry, including the nursery, Parents Day Out, and our regular children’s programming, including Vacation Bible School and Easter Parade.

To be honest, I didn’t know Kay before she applied for this job, but since getting to know her, I have been blown away by her energy, enthusiasm, and knowledge of ministry with children. I know that she’s the right person for the job at this moment in time, and I’m excited that we will all benefit from her wisdom.

I’m grateful to Nell Lind, Ashley Shultz, Sally Climer, Wendy Ogren, and everyone else who has pitched in to assist with ongoing children’s programs since Erin Klein left us. They have gone above and beyond to keep things going while we waited for Kay to join us.

And I’m also thankful to Cammy Gaston, our district superintendent, and Bishop Mike McKee who made this appointment happen. They recognized that our church will flourish under Kay’s guidance and leadership.

This is a good time to be part of the family of Kessler Park UMC. God is doing something very cool here!

Spring Cleaning for the Soul

by Ken Kelley

Signs of the coming spring have already popped up. I welcomed the sight of the first blooms on our paperwhites knowing they are but the first of many beautiful signs of the renewal of life to come in the next few weeks.  Unfortunately, spring also brings a few weeds as well. Now comes the task of nurturing the good and destroying the bad. 

The word Lent comes from the shortened form of an Old English word meaning “spring."  You might think of it as 40 days of spring cleaning for the soul.  Jesus spent 40 days in the desert preparing for His ministry, and, likewise, Lent should be our time to reflect on our spiritual health and condition in preparation for our role as Christ’s body in the world. By God’s grace, we are cleansed through Christ when we confess our sins and ask for forgiveness. 

We need not only have the faith to believe that God will forgive us, but we must also forgive ourselves. We can’t be at peace with God if we’re not at peace with ourselves. We can’t do God’s work in the world to the best of our ability if we’re living our life in guilt for some past deed. 

In a like manner, if we’re not forgiving someone else of their past offenses against us, we aren’t living in Christ’s image and will waste too much time and energy brooding over something that we should have left in the past where it belongs.

Paul was an experienced missionary when he wrote his second letter to Timothy, who was much younger. In chapter 2, verses 20 -22 encourage Timothy to purify himself from what is dishonorable to be a vessel fit for God’s use. They follow verses describing the “Godless chatter” of false teachers and encouragement by Paul for Timothy to endeavor to be a “sound workman” and handle the word rightly.

Today, Godless chatter is as close as the next commercial on television. As an example, I recently saw an ad for an SUV which stated that we can be good – a dear person, a good husband, just generally good, but that’s not good enough. If you drive this SUV you’ll be king of the hill, at the top of your game, all powerful- like a boss. Let’s read what Timothy said after describing the Godless chatter of his day.

20 Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. 21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses [themselves] from what is dishonorable, [they] will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.  22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

In verse 20, we can think of the great house as the church and us as the vessels, and in verse 21 we can become holy by cleansing ourselves from unclean thoughts and unacceptable actions. In other words, we can grow closer to Christ and become more Christlike when we confess our faults to ourselves and to God and ask for forgiveness from ourselves and from God. At that point, we are ready for God to use us for God’s purposes. 

Furthermore (vs 22), we should strive for a pure heart through the pursuit of righteousness (moral thought and behavior), faith (trust in God), love (attitude and action of commitment to God and others) and peace (harmonious relationship with God and others).

Paul’s words encourage us to spend our Lenten journey with Jesus in the desert, sorting out our lives in order for us to follow His example in ministry to the world.

May the spring cleaning of your soul lead to a life lived in peace with who you are, at peace with God, and at peace with others, and may you discover new ways to use the gifts you have to share God’s love with the world.

I hope to see you in worship Sunday.