Tweeting the Tower of Babel

This Sunday is Pentecost, the day in which we remember and celebrate the gift of the Holy Spirit, as recorded in Acts 2. However, I'll be preaching the story of the Tower of Babel from Genesis 11:1-9. Why? What does the Tower story have to do with Pentecost? Well, you'll just have to wait until the Sunday sermon.

In the meantime, I thought I'd have a little fun with the story. Let's imagine what the Tower story might have sounded like if it had played out on Twitter. (If you didn't know, Twitter is a form of communication which plays out in bursts of 140 characters. It also happens to be our President's favorite form of communication. I'll leave it to you to decide if that's a good or bad thing.)

Here's what your Twitter feed might have looked like if social media were in use back in the day ...

Reports from the valley of Shinar - fertile land, resources to make bricks. Anyone up for a building project? (@NoahsKin)

Let’s build a coliseum! #Gladiators #LionsVs.Bears #BigScreenMovies (@WineBibber1)

(@WineBibber1) We don’t need an entertainment complex; we need food, water, essential supplies. How about a super Walmart? (@ValleyGirlBC)

LET’S BUILD SOMETHING BIG! Bigger than the mountains. Let’s make it so big that not even God can reach it! #MakeBabelGreatAgain (@hebrewpride_04)

After years of #desertlife, we need to make a name for ourselves. Build something awesome! (@hunt_gather)

Town hall meeting to discuss tower project provokes harsh debate. Leader says tower would unite people, prevent society from falling apart. (@voxpopuli)

No more talk, we need jobs! #BuildTheTower (@hebrewpride_04)

BREAKING NEWS (AP) Construction begins on first-ever skyscraper. Architect lauds project: “It’s gonna be yuuuuge!” (@apnews)

Contractor tells reporters that, for 1st time, bricks and bitumen to be used in construction of tower. #NotInStoneAgeAnymore (@voxpopuli)

Selfies of workers on the tower going viral, causing safety concerns. (@HPpolicedept)

Tower is named First Wonder of the World, even tho it’s not finished yet. Plans already being made to build a rival. (@voxpopuli)

Contractor says special guest expected this weekend to inspect tower construction. Rumors flying - Shem? Ham? Japheth? #RedCarpet (@enttonight)

God: “I decided to come down here and check out what you’re building.”
Worker: “Should have stayed up there. We’re coming to you.”
God: … 
(@JubalTunes)

Worker: “About that flood. You set civilization back quite a bit there.”
God: “And your point is?”
Worker: “Don’t do that again, please.”
(@redman44)

Apparently, God not impressed by tower project. Leaves without comment. Nervous laughter ensues. (@voxpopuli)

Shocking video of worker falling off tower. Pols ask whether safety regulations have been met, allegations of cost overruns. (@enttonight)

Confusion erupts in tower meeting. Architect shoves blueprints in contractor’s face, starts gibbering nonsense. (@voxpopuli)

BREAKING NEWS (AP) Construction abruptly halts, pending “communication issues.” Foreman says, “Je ne comprends personne.” (@apnews)

من قال هذا البرج كان فكرة جيدة على أي حال؟هذا المشروع هو كارثة كاملة   (@أن المتأنق العربي من الطابق السفلي)

I’m gonna say this only one more time — SPEAK ENGLISH or GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM! (@hebrewpride_04)

Τίποτα καλό δεν μπορεί να προέλθει από αυτό. Προτείνω να χωριστούμε όλοι. #Αποτυχίακτιρίου (@ Εκείνος ο Έλληνας από τον επάνω όροφο)

Forsi aħna kienu ftit kbira għall britches tagħna. (@talker_lixxa)

You all ruined a good thing when you decided to go start speaking your fancy words. Go on and get out of here. #BuildingFail (@hunt_gather)

#covfefe (@AlmightyGod)

Make Your Generosity Automatic!

When you go on vacation this summer, who will pay the bills while you’re gone?

If you’re like me, you probably don’t think much about your bills, because most of them are paid automatically. They are scheduled to come out of your account on a particular day of the month, for a particular amount.

The church faces a different challenge during the summer; we still have to pay the monthly bills, but so many of you are gone throughout the summer, that our income isn’t even.

A year ago, a small team of church members and I began a course on “Year-Round Stewardship” sponsored by the Texas Methodist Foundation. Missi Mulligan, Ken Kelley, Cindy McSpadden, and I spent four long Saturday mornings in Rockwall listening to perspectives on fostering generosity in congregations.

We have slowly been integrating the lessons we learned into our approach to finances, and so far, the results have been extremely positive. We are honestly grateful for your faithfulness and commitment to the ministries and people of KPUMC.

One major piece of the training was an emphasis on automated giving. Research and experience with American congregations shows that churches with a high percentage of giving that is automatic and recurring have an easier time weathering seasonal storms.

Everyone who has ever served on the finance committee of this church knows that we typically have much less income during the summer months. We always seem to make it up by the end of the year, as December tends to be a very good giving month. But the summer can be quite stressful. Sometimes this results in a cash crunch; at times, we have asked staff to hold off on making purchases until our cash flow is positive again.

One way that this summer slump can be averted is by increasing our number of givers who make recurring, automated payments. When you do this, you won’t have to think twice about your pledge, even when you know you will be on vacation or have to miss a Sunday service. And we can know with greater certainty what to expect and what we can spend.

You will be receiving a mailing shortly with more information about how you can do this, whether by setting up a bank draft through your own financial institution, or by going online through the website and setting up monthly debits on a card.

I urge you to consider your own giving habits. If you already have set up automatic payments to the church, thank you so much! If you haven’t yet, please give it a thought; click here to go to the giving page on our website. Not only does it benefit the church, but it will make things a little easier for yourself.

No, fulfilling your pledge to our church is not the same thing as paying the electric or water bill. It’s actually far more important. So why not afford it the same care and concern that you give to the other things you pay for?

Graduating Words

As I look forward to Matt Bell’s graduation from Perkins School of Theology this weekend and Mallory's high school graduation next week, I am reminded of my own graduation ceremonies, and have begun to wonder about the efficacy of those commencement speakers, some of whom manage to stir up a great bit of controversy.

Just this week, Senator John Cornyn was dis-invited from speaking at the Texas Southern University graduation because of the fear of protests. That was a likely possibility given the reaction that Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos received when she addressed the graduates of Bethune-Cookman University. A large number of students booed and turned their backs as she spoke.

My own commencement ceremony at SMU was memorable for a controversial, but apolitical reason, too. Perkins grads have to attend two different commencements. The first one is the proper SMU ceremony, which takes place in Moody Coliseum at 9 am in the morning. The second one recognizes only seminary grads, and takes place in the sanctuary at Highland Park United Methodist Church at 2 pm.

The event at Moody Coliseum was an utter disaster. The celebrated graduation speaker, whose name I have forgotten, spoke so long that the restless grads finally broke into spontaneous applause to force him off the stage! Unfortunately, I don’t remember a thing he said, except that I wished he was finished saying it.

My high school commencement speaker was Dallas Cowboys assistant coach Gene Stallings, which I remember being sort of exciting at the time. Again, I don’t remember a thing he said; it does not strike me as being particularly motivating or inspiring. Incidentally, Coach Stallings was about to embark on his own “graduation” of sorts. The year after he spoke to my Allen High School class of 1985, he took over his first and only head coaching job with the St. Louis Cardinals. In four seasons, he never managed a winning season. So much for inspiring pep talks!

I have never been asked to be a commencement speaker myself, but I have preached one baccalaureate sermon. In my first year as the pastor of Valley View United Methodist Church, I was invited by the pastor of the local Baptist Church to preach, since a good number of the graduating seniors were members of my church.

I actually do remember that sermon quite well. I used the story of Jacob wrestling the angel, and told the students that they would likely encounter a great deal of “wrestling” with God in college, but to keep hanging on, like Jacob did.

I also have a vivid memory of the Baptist preacher showing some discomfort. He must not have been happy with the end of the sermon, because he came up afterward and added an extended — and impromptu — altar call! I guess he wanted to make sure the Methodist kids were all saved before they went off to college and wrestled with God …

I’ve sat through enough commencements now to realize that they’re a lot like weddings — nobody cares about what is said during the ceremony; the only thing that matters is the status of the participants at the end of the ceremony.

But of course, I have my own graduating high school senior this year. And so I have been pondering what I might say if I were asked to address her group of peers, or any other group about to “commence” a new phase of life.

It might go something like this:

“May God give you the grace never to sell yourself short;
grace to risk something big for something good;
grace to remember that the world is now too dangerous for anything but truth
and too small for anything but love.
So may God take your mind and think through it;
may God take your voice and sing through it;
and may God take your heart and set it on fire!”