A Family of Strangers

by Rev. Eric Folkerth

The trial of Amber Guyger has fairly well gripped our city this week. Everywhere I go, people are talking about it.

Two Mondays ago, I was honored to be with an interfaith group of clergy called “FaithForward, Dallas.” There were perhaps forty clergy from all faiths and all parts of our city gathered together. We talked about the trial at length.

We noted that whatever the jury decides, there will be high emotions from our community. There will be strongly held opinions. There will be screaming headlines in the media that feel to many that they twist the story, sometimes beyond recognition. There will be “spin.” Already, as I went on social media last night and this morning, there is macabre rehashing of details of the case. (I myself am not immune from this…) We are all…North and South…Black and White…rich and poor…leering in on these proceedings like Roman spectators watching gladiators.

The “Hunger Games” atmosphere…the fact that every spectator becomes a commentator and “legal expert?” I must say, there is something about this that makes me a little ill.

Whatever you believe about the facts of the case, let us pause to remember that there are real lives behind the headlines. Botham Jean’s family is here in the city. No doubt, Amber Guyger’s is too. They must now walk the gauntlet of this social and paid media frenzy each and every day. I pray for them. I hope you will too, whatever you hope happens in the case.

One of the most powerful moments in that meeting of clergy last week was when one colleague said that our “calling” post-verdict must be to allow people the space for whatever reaction they have. To not judge, criticize, or explain away the feelings of anybody.

I think that’s a very powerful observation.

Simply know…there are clergy of all faiths, across this city, who are ready to hold space for the emotion and feeling that will come from the verdict. I hope to be a part of that. I hope that whatever your views, you will listen to those who think and feel differently from you.

I have written of my own views of the case online, will repost those views at my blog today if you are interested in finding them. Sufficed to say, though, I hope to “hold space” in the crucible of this moment, for all the people of Kessler and North Oak Cliff, whatever your view of this trial.

Malcolm Gladwell’s new book “Talking to Strangers” is deeply affecting me in all of this. The basic premise of the book is that we are all really *bad* at talking to, and understanding, the people we encounter as “strangers.” We misread their body language, their non-verbal cues. Sometimes even their clear verbal language too.

The problem, of course, is that we now live in a world of “strangers.” We live in a world of folks with different social, political and spiritual views than ours. He suggests that we must re-remember how to be compassionate, thoughtful, and above all how we must not “assume” when we are connected to those who are different from us.

That’s helpful to me. It’s also, of course, our calling as Christians. Jesus is the one who reminds us that the “stranger” is actually a member of our family (As Dr. Owen Ross reminded us last Sunday). Our calling is to love the stranger, the outsider, the “different” as ourself…as our family.

We are blessed with living and worshipping in a very diverse neighborhood where we get to practice “talking to strangers” all the time. That’s a blessing we can share with our world. So, pray for our city. For everyone here. And pray that we, here at Kessler, might be beacons of light, and agents of change during a difficult few weeks here in Dallas.