Making Our Ministry Safe

There are a lot of things I like about having Rev. Kay Ash on staff. Since she started as our full-time Director of Christian Education, we have been blessed by so many of her gifts and graces for ministry.

One important gift that she brings is a wealth of experience related to child safety, particularly as it relates to our requirements and obligations as a United Methodist Church in the North Texas Conference.

I learned a lot about safety when she got here and started asking questions about whether or not the church is in conformity with conference standards. I assumed we were since we ask volunteers with children and youth to get a background check and undergo some online training.

Unfortunately, I discovered quickly that not all our volunteers have met those requirements. I assumed too much.

But I also discovered that this was not all that was needed by the conference. Kay informed me that being fully accredited by Ministry Safe requires a number of other documents and protocols, which I didn’t know.

Unbeknownst to me, under my pastoral leadership, KPUMC has not met the standards that are required by the North Texas Conference. I apologize for my part in not knowing the appropriate actions that needed to be taken, and I have authorized Kay to lead the process whereby we enter into full compliance.

It’s not just a background check and online video anymore; other things that need to be completed for ALL volunteers with children and youth include a Safety Application form, an interview, and a reference check. Compliance renewal must be completed via online training every two years, and background checks must be renewed every two to three years.

All of this is important because the conference looks at our compliance statistics and uses the information when evaluating our ministries. And if, God forbid, there were to be an incident of abuse here on our campus, the conference and our insurers would want to know what we had done to prevent it.

In the end, this isn’t about insurance rates or money. This is about the safety of the children and youth on our campus.

According to Ministry Safe, 1 of 3 girls and 1 of 6 boys will be sexually molested before reaching age 18. Additionally, 90% of sexual abuse victims are abused by someone they know and trust.

This means that a church campus is a particularly vulnerable location for sexual predators. If we are serious about making sure that this kind of abuse does not occur on our church grounds, then we must do everything we can to prevent it. That includes following the direction of Ministry Safe, which can help us provide a comprehensive program to ensure all children and youth have a safe haven, and that all of our churches are a place of sacred trust and security..

Kay and I are in the process of moving our church into compliance. If you are asked to fill out new paperwork or undergo training, please understand that this is not because we are suspicious about your behavior or have done anything wrong! The things we may ask from you have nothing to do with you personally. This is about doing the right thing for our church and our children.

Thank you for your cooperation and understanding. As always, the goal is that KPUMC remain a safe, warm, loving and caring place for all people. Especially kids.

A Domination-Free Gospel and Church

At first glance, the scandal involving Harvey Weinstein, the movie producer who has a long history of harassing and abusing women, looks like a single, terrible story of a terrible man who got away with terrible behavior for too long.

But then 38 women came forward to accuse film director, James Toback, of similar behavior. Chef John Besh stepped down from the company he started after two dozen women spoke out about his behavior. And it hasn’t been that long since Bill O’Reilly and Roger Ailes were brought low by harassment claims. And then, of course, there’s President Donald Trump …

The point is, as any woman might tell you if they feel safe enough, that this behavior is far more common than we would like to admit. That’s why the Twitter hashtag #MeToo took off with such intensity.

Unfortunately, the institutional church is not exempt from this behavior. One of the worst cases in recent history involves the former pastor of First United Methodist Church, Fort Worth. Barry Bailey stepped down from his pulpit after multiple women accused him of sexual misconduct; later, a judge ordered him to pay $3.7 million in damages to seven women.

I’m sure you can think of your own examples of pastors who have betrayed the trust that others put in them. Sadly, pastors are not some super-species of the Christian community who are above misconduct.

There is a common thread that runs through all these stories. These are all men with power, and their victims are always people who have less power and are more vulnerable to their advances. And even though these stories always involve sexual acts, the primary motive at work is not simply lust or desire.

The force at work is domination. Harvey Weinstein took advantage of women because he could; he felt entitled to take whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

This dynamic isn’t something that only very powerful and wealthy men act out; it can happen anytime someone feels that he or she has power over someone else, and wants to take advantage of that edge.

It’s especially tragic when a pastor engages in this kind of behavior, because it is precisely this kind of behavior that the Gospel opposes. The entire story of Jesus is the story of a man who refused to dominate others. Jesus did not manipulate or coerce others to love him, follow him, or obey him. He let people walk away from him; he didn’t feel the need to prove his divine power or even his true identity.

As Paul said about Jesus in Philippians, “Though he was in the form of God, he did not consider being equal with God something to exploit. But he emptied himself …” (Phil. 2:6-7).

As his followers, we are supposed to imitate this kind of behavior. In other words, even when we find ourselves in a position of power over someone else, we are not to use that position to dominate, force, or coerce. When we find ourselves in a position of leadership, we are to interpret our primary responsibility to be as one who serves, as one who is ready and willing to wash another’s feet.

As your pastor, I am committed to being your servant leader, to being a shepherd who cares for the flock gently and carefully. I am also committed to ensuring that Kessler Park UMC is a safe place for all people, where sexual harassment and abuse is not permitted or condoned, and where all people are treated with dignity and respect. If you have ever been harassed or received unwanted attention by any person at Kessler Park UMC, please notify me or another staff member, and your matter will be addressed immediately.

At KPUMC, there will be no domination, only mutual support, love, and fellowship.