Report From the Frontlines of the War on Christmas

News Anchor Linda Montgomery: Tonight, breaking news in the War on Christmas — reports of fresh attacks on the meaning of the season. Our reporter, Brett Whiplash, is embedded on the front line, and we have him live with us. Brett, can you hear me?

Brett Whiplash: Yes, I can.

Linda: Tell us where you are.

Brett: I’m here at the Willow Wallow City Mall in the center of town, and I’ve been walking in and out of the stores here and —

Linda: And let me guess. You’re only hearing “Happy Holidays,” right? Nobody is wishing you a “Merry Christmas”?

Brett: Ummm, well no. Plenty of salespersons have wished me a “Merry Christmas.” That’s not been a problem at all. In fact —

Linda: Ahh, but I bet they’re not playing any religious Christmas music, are they? It’s all reindeers and Santa, right?

Brett: Actually, I hear “Silent Night” on the mall loudspeakers right now, as I speak. I’ve heard an impressive number of carols that —

Linda: I’m surprised, Brett. I thought you had breaking news about the War on Christmas. I thought you were going to report that there was a new assault on the season.

Brett: But there is, Linda! That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’ve spent all afternoon here and all I’ve seen is a mall full of stressed, anxious, and fearful people rushing in and out of stores, spending ungodly amounts of money in an effort to appease their children, parents, and extended family members. Everywhere I look, I see unhappy people, frightened people, busy people. They’re in such a hurry that they don’t even take the time to speak to each other. That doesn’t seem to me to be the “Christmas spirit.” If Jesus was born to be the Prince of Peace, well frankly I don’t see a lot of peace out here.

Another disturbing thing I’m seeing — as people walk through the mall, they’re busy looking at their phones, and we’ve had a number of collisions, spills, and mishaps as people have run into each other while occupied with updating their Facebook status. Those incidents have made people even grumpier than normal, and I’ve heard some raised voices. Once again, we seem to be missing “peace on earth, good will towards all.”

Not only that, but as people pass through the doors out to the parking lot, they pass a number of homeless people. They hardly take the time to even look at them. I thought Christmas was a time of giving and generosity, particularly to those in need. And yet most of the people I see out here aren’t paying any attention to those in need. It doesn’t make sense!

I’ve never seen such a Christ-less Christmas, to be honest. The rush to buy and consume, the greediness, the stress and the anxiety, the busy-ness and commotion —  surely this is not how we’re supposed to celebrate Christmas. This cannot be what Jesus wanted. This just can’t be the way it’s supposed to be. It’s horrible, Linda, a real travesty!

Linda: Well at least the salespeople are saying “Merry Christmas” again! That’s a huge relief. By the way, what can you tell us about this year’s Starbucks coffee cup? Does it use the phrase “Merry Christmas” or something pagan like “Season’s Greetings”?

Brett: What? I don’t, uh, I don’t know … really, that seems beside the point —

Linda: Thank you for your brave reporting, Brett. It’s great to hear that Christmas is back. We have President Trump to thank for that, don’t you think?

Brett: No, actually I don’t —

Linda: That was our investigative reporter, Brett Whiplash, on assignment on the frontlines of the War on Christmas. Next up, a report from the border where refugee terrorists are being turned back before they can wreak destruction in our country. But first, a word from our sponsor …

Heaven's Front Porch: A One-Act Play

SETTING: The Front Porch of heaven, with a long row of rocking chairs, stretching off into forever. 

ST. PETER and MIKE LOTT enter stage-right.

ST. PETER: As I was saying, Mike, we have the perfect spot reserved for you — right here!

MIKE: Great, this looks a lot like my porch back home. Except where’s the bird feeders?

ST. PETER: Argh! I told the landscape crew to get them in place before you got here!

MIKE: Alright, well, one more question — am I allowed to chew on cigars here? I mean, I’m not going to light it up. 

ST. PETER: I’ll have to check the new front porch regulations. 

MIKE: Regulations? I didn’t think you let politicians in up here.

Loud knocking sound

ST. PETER: I’ve got to get the front gate. Make yourself at home. (departs stage-left)

MIKE sits in his rocker, smiles and stretches his arms above his head, as BILL BRYAN and CHRIS CLIMER enter stage-right.

BILL B.: Looky who finally arrived! Sure is good to see another friend from the ‘hood. 

CHRIS: How are things in Kessler Park?

MIKE: Come on and have a seat. I’ll catch y’all up. I have to say this is the best front porch view I’ve ever had.

CHRIS: (sitting) I spend most of my days here, enjoying the view. But we’ve also had some interesting new residents lately. I spent all day watching Jerry Lewis and Don Rickles trade insults.

BILL B.: (sitting) Tell me a story about Kessler Park United Methodist Church …

MIKE: Well, as you know, I always considered myself a Baptist first, but …

BILL MILSAP enters stage-right

BILL M.: Here’s some familiar faces.

ALL: BILL!

MIKE: Have a seat, Bill. You’re at heaven’s front porch now. You have nowhere to be and all the time in the world. I didn’t expect to see you so soon.

BILL M.: Neither did I. But that damn cancer is … (shaking head).

BILL B.: Tell me about it …

A few seconds of quiet go by

MIKE: I hate to ask this, but when do you get used to it?

CHRIS: Get used to what?

MIKE: Being here. Missing the wife. Being separated from everything and everyone you knew.

BILL B.: You’ll never get over missing them, but you will learn quickly to leave them in God’s hands. That’s actually the great thing about being here. You’ll no longer doubt God’s presence and influence in their lives. You’ll gradually get more and more comfortable with the idea that all will be well. 

CHRIS: There is no sadness either. You find that you’re actually quite at peace with being here, and that they will join you soon enough. 

BILL B.: And there’s plenty of time to just sit and shoot the breeze. 

CHRIS: So what’s happening with the Cowboys? 

MIKE: Now that will make you sad. Losing Zeke has made things a lot more difficult —

RUTH ZACCARELLO enters stage-right

RUTH: The last thing I want to talk about in heaven is the Dallas Cowboys.

ALL: RUTH!!

MIKE: Have a seat, RUTH! We’re just sitting here, catching up on Oak Cliff.

RUTH: (sitting) That sounds good to me. Great view you got here.

MIKE: I love it. Except I miss the birds. Back home, I had several feeders in my front yard, and kept them full of seed. This place could use a little landscape work.

BILL M.: I’m on it. I’ve got some ideas that I can run by ST. PETER.

BILL B.: Wait until tomorrow. We’ve got lots of time for that. So MIKE, how are things at The Kessler School? I heard you were working there …

Conversation continues, as the voices gradually fade into eternity

Mary's Song

In many of our Advent and Christmas activities, liturgy, and traditions in the  church, we tend to focus on the baby Jesus, the Christ child coming into the world. And don't get me wrong, we should. His birth in humility, and the vulnerability of God choosing to come into the world as a tiny human, to experience all that humanity experiences, and no less born in a stable amidst cows and sheep, is the center of this season. 

But I want to shift our focus to another important person in the story: to Mary, the mother of Jesus. The mother who, like I'm sure many mothers reading this can relate, frantically rushed around Jerusalem after the boy Jesus left her and Joseph's care only to find him preaching in the temple; the mother who prepared Jesus' body with spices and whom Jesus entrusted to John at his death; and most of all, the woman who said "yes" to God when some random angel appeared to her young, poor teenage self and told her she would give birth to the Savior of the whole world. 

Can you imagine? Mary was the age of many of our KPUMC youth, risking everything to get on board with what God was doing not only in her life, but for all of creation. I think we Methodists could learn or thing or two from our Catholic friends about the importance of venerating this woman who birthed our incarnate God.

During the 4th week of Advent, one of the lectionary readings is the song, the Magnificat, that Mary sings after her cousin Elizabeth's womb (where John the Baptist was growing) leaps during a visit from Mary. 

"My soul magnifies the Lord," she says. "And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant... He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;
he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate." 

In other words, "God noticed me.... even me, poor and afraid, a woman living in a patriarchal society of humble means. God chose me for this task, which says so much about who God is and who God cares for."

Mary's song is a powerful word for us in this season of political turmoil, of allegations of sexual misconduct left and right, of the mighty in their thrones who exploit the poor and subjugate those of lowly status. God sees and validates the experiences of those who are mistreated and powerless. 

What an invitation for us to say yes when we feel least able to do so, to thank God for God's presence in our lives no matter how inadequate we may feel at times, and to honor the women around us who have said yes so that beautiful and holy things could be born into this world.

As we continue our Advent journey together, I pray that Mary's words might bring you comfort, challenge, and serenity.